When I decided to write a blog I was thinking about the purpose. In my carrier I am most proud to inspire and help young and talented people to grow. I was lucky to work with many. With this blog I want to continue doing so. I promised myself that I will write about naked truth, because this is what hits you sooner or later anyway. Life is more than happy pictures and inspirational statuses on IG, on personal and business profiles. I met many people that worked in the most “sexy” companies and had to face troubles hard to imagine. So I will share both – business and life stories, which from my point of view are inseparable. My first blog will therefore talk about the masquerade and happiness we all want to take part of.
I want to take you to my March-June 2018 life period. It started with managing and leading conference organisation for my sales channels from all countries in Rovinj. Full of events and great speakers. It was only 2 days after the senior management meeting in Portorož. 11 days after hosting partners in Moscow. As a big fan of Real Madrid football club, I attended semi-final Champions League game between Real Madrid and Juventus (RM won! 😊). Next day we had celebration with best agents in Madrid, and the day after I was already watching Barcelona vs. Valencia football match. End of April I went with my family on a few-day vacation to Croatia and on May 10th I spent 10 days in Miami South beach. June started with wedding in Montenegro and finished with regular Russian office work and attending Football World Championship. I travelled 125 days in that year. At the same time, I was managing my work and team, I was mother, wife, friend and I took care of my physical fitness. I always believed you can have everything in your life.
Many people would say that I was living most people’s dreams.
Fast forward to March-June 2019. Even bigger conference in Rovinj with even better program and speakers. Afterwards 10 days in Miami, than Lugano, Dublin, Berlin and few days in Austria. I was catching airplanes and at some point I just surrendered to the flow – in business & life. I was always trying to live my life fully, travel the world, seize every day, trying to fit all things in my life. I tried to do things that pleased me, and others I cared about.
I was achieving goals, but I was also losing my glow. At some point I realised that being “goal-getter”, doesn’t make you “glow-getter”. Being full of everything, empty at the same time, and searching for new things to excite me – this was my reality. I knew it, but I didn’t know that things can hit you fast and hard. With lack of motivation to do things right, please people and my family, hardly finding energy to run one more circle of reorganisation at work, I lost my job, and I lost myself. I basically lost my life. I realised that I was a part of unreal management business (&) life, where it is unacceptable to be weak and powerless.
Unfortunately, your life sometimes has to hit rock-bottom to realise that you need to pick it up from there. In business & life. However, the reality of it is not nice. People tell you that they are not concerned for you, that you will be OK. But you feel paralysed. You lose people in your life, you lose confidence, and most importantly you realise you are losing yourself.
March – June 2020. It started for me with losing more anchors, which was pushing all of us in bigger uncertainty. I wanted to “escape”, to catch flight to Asia and try to solve things from my perspective, but this time I couldn’t. When things are bad, they can go worst. After being quarantined and watching Netflix for a week, I decided not to waste my life. If I want better, I need to be certain that I deserve better. I need to do and be better. I dedicated to take 1 month for some inner discussion with myself. My traumas, relationships, all the things that I failed at in my life. To redefine (my!) values, to figure out what I want, to earn my self-respect first. To keep promises to myself first. To feel gratitude and fall back in love with things that I lately took for granted. I wanted to define my own rules, my own boundaries. After everything that happened, it suddenly downed on me, it is worthless to have everything, when you don’t have gratitude, good conscious and self-respect. It seemed easier to earn respect of others. And it was damn hard to build a respect towards myself. But I figured out, if you really respect yourself, others will respect you too.
What I realised is that what we deserve in business (&) life is a matter of perception. It mostly depends on us. We can’t control everything, but we can control a lot of things. We can control who we are, what we do, how we develop ourselves, what we value. We can control our boundaries in any kind of relationship, our dreams and even what we are capable of doing. Only we have the power to do these things. We are the ones who decide whether we want to be power-less or power-full. In other words, being better, deserving better, is a choice. You are the one to make it.
When it comes to changes my sincere advice would be to listen to your gut and don’t ignore red flags. Don’t wait until you hit the rock-bottom. “Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose.” Make changes sooner. It is obvious that same stands for companies and teams. We often try to avoid changes, because we don’t want to hurt others. But how can we serve others when we continuously hurt ourselves? Is this how it’s supposed to be?
I hope you will enjoy reading my blogs. Some of you might find yourselves in my texts and it is not a coincidence. 😊